Have you ever been talking to someone and out of nowhere they snap at you?
Maybe you have experienced similar things from Christian friends, people at church or just your family and friends. I know I have.
I have a joke with my close friends and family. When they do this, I jokingly ask them to look at my neck. I point at the new wound that they have made.
After the first couple of times doing it, they realize that they may be feeling snappy or agitated. I have also found that if I joke about it like this and they are in a particularly grumpy mood, it does lighten it up a bit.
There are times when people deflect anger. They may be already angry, and you just happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time. They may be hurt, they also may have things that they are trying not to face.
A friend said something pretty wise this evening to me. She said, "An abused dog will always react in hostile defense when approached."
Think about that for a second.
An abused dog doesn't know if the next human it encounters will abuse him or not. To be safe, he will react defensively, by being aggressive to protect himself.
This makes a lot of sense!
I think we as humans tend to do the same thing. If we are hurting, or have been hurt sometimes, it is easier to keep people at arm's length to maintain ourselves in a safe environment. I used to do this frequently.
I have a history of abuse and to be honest, I hid it. It wasn't a safe thing to discuss, and at times, it was easier to live in denial.
My friend added, "To someone who doesn't know that the dog was abused, it is just an uncontrolled animal."
Think about your last interaction with someone that ended up in someone snapping or attacking you verbally. Maybe they too are in situations that are uncomfortable and are trying to cope. Perhaps they are in denial or working just to make it through their day?
Whatever the case may be, if we look at them using this lens, it may help us recognize that they just need our love and support.
I hope this blesses you! Much Love!
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